First Date Tips

Emailed Question:
Hi there
What are some good stuff to ask out / talk about when you hit a blank when chatting with a girl on a date?
Sometimes it’s better to say anything than to say nothing at all…
Maybe list a few “different” / interesting questions / topics…
Thanks a lot for all the advice!
Jakes

ANSWER:
Jakes,
Great question.
Hitting that blank is very common…and most of the time…un-avoidable. Sometimes it can be very very awkward…
The important thing to remember is to stay calm. Don’t freak out. When you’re nervous, your nervous thoughts make that awkward silence feel like an eternity….
The beauty of the awkward silence is this:
She feels awkward too!
Most guys start thinking something must be wrong if there is a little bit of silence.
There’s not….trust me.
A minute or two of silence is no biggie.

Here are some tips that I like to keep in mind:
Before your date…think of different scenarios that will be able to start up a conversation just incase you run into awkward silence.
For example, chances are she’s going to be wearing some piece of jewlery…right?
If you hit awkward silence…pick out a piece of jewlery or an item of clothing that she’s wearing and say something to the effect of -
“Hey i like that bracelet…where did you get it??”
Chances are, this will be enough to get her to tell you a story about where she got her bracelet…or how she picked out her shirt..etc etc…
Like I mentioned in earlier tips…Girls LOVE talking about themselves…so LET them..
Ask questions…
Then reply to her answers with stories about yourself….
Perhaps have a story about where you got your necklace…or your shirt..
Make a couple of jokes..
Tell her you saw a bum wearing the shirt you have on now…and you bought it from him for 5 bucks…
Get her laughing a little.
A couple of jokes…and a little bit of laughter eases the tension and gets the conversation rolling.

Think of a few “safety topics” before your date to talk about for when you run into silence.
Good Topics:
Siblings
Movies
Whether or not she likes sports
Music
TV
Hobbies

Bad Topics:
Sex
War
Drugs
Your longest Keg Stand at last weekend’s Frat Party
Your Ex..

Hope this helps, buddy.

I understand. Really, I do. You want to impress your date. Sometimes you may even try and impress her by trying to seem as if you’re more important than you actually are…
We all like to think that we’re big deals. Maybe you are….maybe you aren’t.
Just make sure you don’t start lying about yourself.
Common sense should tell you to not to say you own a Maserati when you don’t. You can only lie about it being “in the shop” for so long before she calls you on your bullsh*t…

If she tells you she loves John Mayer, don’t tell her you know a guy that can get her backstage at his next show.

If she tells you she loves France, don’t tell her you own a summer house in St. Tropez…

If she loves going clubbing, don’t tell her you can skip the line at the most exclusive club in the city..

You see where I’m going with this??
While it may seem cool at the time…what are you gonna do if you two actually start dating seriously?
Are you going to continue to lie? Are you going to come clean and admit you were just being a D-bag?

Save yourself the trouble, man. Be yourself. Be comfortable in what you have to bring to the table. You don’t need to lie about yourself to impress anyone.
You are trying to find someone who will like you for who you are….not what she can get from you…

This is an awful break up email I found while surfing the net from a chick to a dude that apparently was acting crazy..
Please read it….and maybe it will convince you to stop being so needy…and learn how to take your time with women..
Man, I would hate to be this guy….haha.

Many dating experts will give you a different opinion on this one.
If you ask a female expert, she’ll tell you to always pay.
If you ask some male experts…they’ll tell you not to be a wuss and split the bill 50/50.
There are a lot of different theories floating around on this one…

If you want my opinion…
I say, be classy. Pay for the first date.
I always suggest to have a creative first date that doesn’t even involve a bill…
But in the event that you go on a more traditional date…..then go ahead and pay.
I’ve always paid for my dates…..
And I’ll tell you why…
If you’ve done everything right on the date thus far….and you’ve been a funny, charismatic, confident guy throughout the date…
Then it really doesn’t matter if you pay for everything or you just pay your half.
BUT…in the event that you’re out on a date with an “old school” girl who likes a chivalrous man…then you footing the bill is just a cherry on top of a good date.
Even if you don’t see yourself going out on another date with this girl….still take the high road.
After all….you invited her right??
One of my favorite tests to see if this chick is worth my time…comes at the end of the night…
I automatically grab the bill….if she offers to pay her half…then she’s solid.
If she doesn’t…or worse yet…doesn’t even say thank you…
Then you run, pal…..and you run fast…

WHAT NOT TO DO